Monthly Archives: May 2010

Substance and Autheniticity

By admitting in my last blog post that I have a loss of words, I have a new-found burst of what I like to call ‘word vomit’. I went from one extreme to the other! Often I can do that, end up spewing way too much information and overloading someone and myself! So in this post I will work on finding balance and not overwhelming you!

Recently one of my mentors spoke about substance and authenticity. Speaking about how easy it is too see right through someone who has none. I found myself then questioning what is substance and authenticity? And do I have any?!

By asking myself these questions I realize that I doubt my abilities and myself. I remember reading somewhere how doubt is one of our biggest obstacles and when we doubt ourselves we hold ourselves back. So why am I holding myself back? Why do I fear that I am not authentic?

One way I know that I am being true to myself and authentic is when I look in the mirror I can now see myself and recognize who I am. In the past I would look in the mirror and say who is that person across from me? At my old job I lost myself. During my first month at my job a colleague told me, when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself you have gone too far. Too often I tried to please others and lost track of who I was and what my values are.

Today I can look in the mirror and see me. I can say I am a yoga instructor and yoga therapist in NYC. I combine eastern and western thought to provide clarity and purpose through asana, pranayama, and meditation. I left my marketing job in December 2009 to dedicate my time and my life to this path. What can I do but be with what I have chosen and continue to take advantage of whatever experiences I can find, exploring myself, and being true to who I am. Not trying to fit into a mold or become exactly like my mentors that I love so much, but working on finding the pieces that best define me.

Tomorrow, next month, next year my direction may change. How I teach and how I practice will evolve and I look forward to continuing on this path and am thankful to all of my mentors, friends, and families who help me to really SEE who I am.

The path that I took helped me to find a more easeful way to live everyday life, and that is what I hope to share with others. Teaching others to learn how to take the skills they learn on the mat out into the world. So the next time in the office when you feel overwhelmed and stressed out you will be able to more easily come back to a balanced state and be able to mindfully work through whatever obstacles you may be facing.

Have you ever thought – how can I be authentic? It may be a difficult or easy question to answer, but it is one worth looking at. Taking the time to really SEE you. When you can’t really see yourself it is like an ocean with waves and ripples casting a shadow over the bottom of the ocean. When the ripples and waves calm you can see to the ocean floor – your true self. There will always be storms and sunny days, but as you learn what the ocean floor truly looks like the storms won’t last as long.



PS In the sprit of the joy and laughter I feel after writing this, the picture above helps to represent how I see myself and how I am feeling!



As I settle back in at home after my recent trip to Bristol, VT I am finding that I have a loss of words. With all of the work I have been doing to explore the deeper self I have arrived at a point where I can’t describe what I have found – and I am realizing this might not be a bad thing.

My desire to articulate everything has had the opposite effect, where I find I am at a loss for words. In a world where we communicate via blogs, Facebook, e-newsletters, Twitter, etc., I feel forced to always be able to express myself and describe my experiences. Rather than forcing myself to find new things to write about, I have decided to accept my lack of words.

I am struggling with the idea of just being with an experience rather than describing it, analyzing it, or defining it. Why not simply allow the emotions to come and go? Life is a continuous ebb and flow where things are always changing. No matter how much I try to control, it life keeps going and my resistance to this movement just makes life harder.

Through the classes I have been taking, speaking with my mentors, and in the books I have been reading, I have been finding signs everywhere to practice compassion and presence. Rather than fight the universe I am trying to let go of doing and just be for today. To allow my post to simply be that I can’t explain where I am right now. I am acknowledging that as I allow myself to settle the words will come and I will be able to truly feel my experience.

We can so easily become lost in our words and labels so I invite you to try out a few minutes (or hours) of silence today and see what you find. Share the time with yourself and then decide if you would like to share it with friends.